Maybe I spoke too soon about SAD. Or maybe it goes with the time of the month. Egh. Or recent events. Today was a bit of a miserable day. They changed my lunch. I feel the need to curse, to express emphasis. But I shall refrain, for the moment. When my third block teacher told me the news, I almost cried. I finally get lunch with all my friends and somebody screws me over. Sure, A lunch is ridiculously crowded, but it had to be my luck to be in a class that was switched. I ought to pretend like I forgot tomorrow, but that'd make me a cutter. I will admit that I did that once. Anyways, my backup friends are not in that lunch either. And it sucks ASS. (Oh excuse me I meant arse.) It's back up to the library in the throes of starvation (kidding, I can last until two or three thirty) and loneliness for me. After a week of that I'll get "depressed" again and force myself to go down, for better or worse. But I doubt there's anyone decent enough left to make friends with at C lunch. Geez. I didn't realize that I'd gotten this dependent on my friends. But in all actuality, it's one person. Christ, I'm going to miss her. *sobs*
No really, I do feel like crying again. I am such a WRECK. I should go eat something. That always makes me feel better, that is until I get hungry again fifteen to thirteen minutes later. (Fatty. XD) Uhm. Last night I was up at midnite making da bomb cheese/green and red peppers/kielbasa omlette. I accidently poured like a gallon of pepper into the... egg stuff, but it worked out fine in the end. Salt was not needed, considering the fact that kielbasa is so salty. Mmm... food. I SO need some Butter Pecan right now...
It'd be nice to have you around too. But we know what happens everytime. If I could spend a month alone with you, alone, for the most, but not entire part, that'd do me some good. But the odds of that happening...
I think I officially have a hernia. I just lifted a 20lb + box of paper. Pain. I am such a WEAKLING.
Rant of the day - I hate to feel like a lab animal. Kathleen, my roomie, has a number of friends that enjoy watching me. (...Ew...) They find me amusing. When I'm not looking, (even if I'm sitting RIGHT beside them) they just watch me, looking for "funny" instances to tell to their little friends. The only reason why I know they do this is because of Kathleen. Why do I bother to listen? I guess I'm a fool. But still, you know what I have to say to these girls? Get a freaking life. (Whew, almost switched that up thar.) Pay attention in class for once. Your grades might go up. I guess I find it annoying because I can't quite understand how they could be so easily entertained. Apparently the very sound of my voice can send them into a fit of giggles sometimes. Am I really that much of a geek? Or are they that immature? It's ok, it's ok. After all, I don't give a shit what they think of me. I just like to complain. It's a shame I have to resort back to apathy in school. It was so much more fun the other way.
So then, to top the day off, the computer I use in the Graphic Design lab was down today, so I was ONCE AGAIN ushered to the back. And I HATE the back. Jesus CHRIST. Good thing tomorrow I have class at the Community Art Center. It's all I feel I have going for me sometimes. Even though, sometimes it doesn't help my mood either, particularly when I'm in a block or when I get to thinking about my college decisions. Oh my Jesus.
*Sigh* I am officially back to hating school. And with AP History on the roster, it ain't gettin' any better. Yes, I'm a pessimist at heart. So sue me.
