(Yes. Blink 182.) Already, I miss 'im. WTF. This is a really weird feeling. And I like it. As for the kissing gig, I screwed it up again. Seriously though, what the heck is my problem? As the day wore on, I was becoming more comfortable around him. And maybe, in much less of a public setting, I could actually allow him to kiss me without making it look like I'm fighting for my virginity or life or something else the media has managed to devalue. Random. Maybe I have to ask my parents for permission on that too [kissing]. Maybe then I'd feel better. XD I am so sad.
Everyone likes him, which isn't so much of a bad thing on this side of the fence. It's over there that I'm worried about ALL the time. I don't really get the sense from him that I can't trust him, but he seems like a party animal. And I am SO prone to disappoint him on that front. Then all the sweet things he told me... that makes me feel like, "What reason do you have to distrust him?" Then lingering lectures play in my head of all the little tricks the boys play. And that's where everything comes down to. It's like this fear I have of... I dunno, disappointing my parents. But they've repeated it so much, it feels so much like it's a part of me. And I can do almost nothing without their voices inside my head. So maybe I don't have a phobia of any of those things. Maybe it's just them, constantly screaming in my ears, CAUTION. The apathy button malfunctions in that area. Boop. My head is spinning with lots of random thoughts, the most prominent being, Asia, why do you suck?
Night.
