We (Kota y su novio, Alex) were playing DDR for about 8 hours straight, except we had to go around helping people, mostly (annoying) children. OMG CHILDREN. WTF?! I hate it when parents leave their children to freaking twirl around in circles like friggin' idiots, falling all over people and pissing them off. They can't even pay attention to the freaking game for a SECOND! I'm standing RIGHT in their ear, saying "PLEASE STAND BEHIND THE POLE!" And they all run in front of it like RETARDS. Excuse me for using that word. It is not a normal fixture in my vocabulary, I promise you. But yeh. So working with kids all day is not fun. Blessed be the teachers. According to Dave (my art teacher at the Community Art Center)I handle children very well. He was impressed. Yea, ok, thanks. But I can't tell you how many times I wanted to bop somebody. And OMG. People need to have better hygeine. We had those cheap, plastic, pads, that SUCK. Kota brought her Red Octane pads - those are freaking AMAZING. And she and her bf both play Heavy. They're pretty good, although I've seen better. *Rolls Eyes* I can see it coming now... But anyway, people were sweating and barefooted and they freaking STUNK. And then this one dude came up to talk to me and his breath smelled like PISS. I was pretending to scratch my back to cover my nose, and I was telling him how to play the game, and he, like, leaned forward and was like, "I can't hear you." I almost fell over and died. Thank goodness he didn't come back today like he said he would. (This event took place on Saturday and today, although today was more exciting because I actually got to play. RED OCTANE OMG!) Tsugaru is like beating in my head. And the people that set the place up had to be high or something. We were set up next to this thing called "Dance Place" and they had these blaring speakers on with music. You CANNOT play a musical game with other music on, especially if it means you can't hear what you're supposed to. So that was just dumb. And then today, this Asian guy... I have like this obsession with Asians (obviously moreso the guys than girls) and he was REALLY good. (Still not the BEST of the BEST. You know who you are.) He talked to my friends and I and told us like his WHOLE life story. Omigosh DRIFTING AWAY is in my head now. He was really nice, up from New Jersey. You know NJ folks don't have their own city. They live between NYC and Philly. It's kind of sad. But anyway, he first said to me, "Hey, I wanna play you." Kota, Dave and Alex, told me I was blushing like mad. I was just like, "Oh please." You could stare at me and I'll blush sometimes. (Especially if you have really pretty eyes... Omigosh. I first found out I was in love with hazel eyes in the 7th or maybe 8th grade. The one kid that had them though was not cool. He used to say something like "Riiight..." to everything, trying to be a smart ass.) But anyway, he played the game with us and then gave us his screen name and actually HUGGED us. It was awkward for me because I didn't expect it. I never expect it, but I guess some people are more cordial than others. NUMBER ONE - strangers don't hug. Maybe elsewhere, but not in America. He was Americanized though, so... It was sweet, but kinda freaked me out. Yea... I think my development has been delayed. This boy crazy stage was supposed to happen a long time ago, like 7th grade. But it was 6th grade that I finally began to realize that I had no real reason to loathe males at all. Now GIRLS on the other hand... No, but seriously, I used to HATE boys. I actually was pretty indifferent about girls. I was SO antisocial. I had, like, no friends. That's a lie. I miss 7th grade when I used to draw comics/stories for all my friends and pass them around. Somebody stole the very last episode of my series! I let someone borrow it to read just before graduation, and because I was as absent minded as I am now, I'd half sworn they'd given it back to me. I got over it, though. I should seriously go back to Queens, see if I can find any of my old friends. I have like, no friends in NY as of now. It may partially be my fault, but eh. I don't ever go out in NY. It's sad. *sigh* And that is me, writing through my train of thought. Ghost is in my head now.
So yes... I'm really happy with myself these days. I'm beginning to notice a lot of things changing me. I used to have such a thick shell, but it may well be transparent now. Ooh, ooh... quick rant... WTF is the deal with me attracting overly sensitive people (especially guys) as friends?! ARG! I hate it when people get mad at me for things I can't help. I am an ANDROID. I cannot LOVE. Not wholeheartedly, anyway. As I have said time again, Andrea, on an IRL scale, she has been the closest thing, which isn't saying much at all, because she's my best friend. That which is intangible is really not the same. People are so different face to face. WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?! This happens time and time again. I can get over it... I always do. And you? (This is about someone else.) Just give up... I'm not worth it. And the way I see it, nobody is.
"Failure's not flattering." NFG.
