Euphoria

This weekend was absolutely fantastic. It's not like I really did anything super special, but it was just lots of fun. On Friday, Andrea was away on a trip with HI-Q, so Halo 2 Night didn't start at its usual time. I was BORED out of my wits and ran to phone the second I sensed the phone was for me. It was weird. I just knew the call was mine. Do you believe that children and mothers, lovers, and best friends share mental bonds?

So anyway she invited me over and I fled to her house. [Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani... that shit is bananas! XD] For some reason I don't remember much about Friday night... Euphoria tends to do really weird things with my memory. I'm trying to think... All that's coming to me is that Diego and Hua were running around outside. Oh wait... that was last weekend. But anyway, they started this whole competition between each other where they'd see who'd enter Andrea's house first, so they haven't been in her house together in a while. It was just a regular night I guess. Hmm... Some things are starting to come back a bit. So I remember we were eating pizza and watching parts of the Cirque du Soliel marathon on Bravo. That is SO amazing. Diego was eating pizza in the corner, and I told him he gained sexy points for being bilingual. He blushed. It was funny. And... that's all I remember of that night.

And then I left, knowing I had to wake up to another day with my friends. That is the best feeling in the world. I was glad to wake up early for once. I often waste so much of my weekend sleeping. It's kind of depressing. I really want to get out of that habit. So then I left the house about 10:30 and hopped into Diego's car, after delay. You know us girls - never on time.

So Andrea, Diego, and I drove to the WaWa (WTF) in Wallingford to meet Sunny so we could follow him to Chinatown. Sunny was driving Shingo and Hua. I was in the cool car. XP So we get onto the highway and Diego... he has this problem with speeding. We hear sirens behind us. We're a little confused at first, but we eventually pull over. SHIT. It is us the Police were after. Note that this was my first time being in a car that was pulled over, particularly on the highway. I wasn't so much scared as I was amused. First the guy asks Diego, "Do you know how fast you were going?" Calmly, Diego responded, "No, Sir, I don't." [Calm under pressure - sexy. XD] Gesturing with his head towards his car, the officer says, "Come with me. I'll show you." Diego was driving at 67.2 miles per hour AND was apparently driving too close to Sunny. The cop brings Diego back to the car and checks our seatbelts. I guess that was either luck or mistrust in my friend's driving skills, because I usually don't wear my seatbelt unless I'm told to. The policeman then commented on Diego's radar thingit. The cop pretty much laughed at him for having it because we already had done so much wrong and the cop was using a tracking device instead of radar to detect speed. He let us fly the coop, though. It was nice of him. But what I found annoying is that right as he stopped us, a red car flashed by. Buh.

When we finally got to Chinatown, we stopped at a Chinese supermarket. As we entered the store, I'd point out every Chinese Gangsta I could. "Hey Sunny, there's ya homie. Holla at ya boy!" I'd say. Andrea thought it was rude, or funny, or something. When all the shoppers recognized that a bunch of teens were entering the store, all eyes were on us. Oh wait... They were on me, actually. I suppose it's because I'm black. They were probably like, "WTF is she doing in here?" It was both amusing and upsetting. I adore you people! Why would you ever think I'd ever do you wrong? Look at my friends, they're Asian too! XD That was great. Andrea splurged and bought all of this random candy, most of which was Japanese. Pocky isn't as bad as I'd thought.

After that we went to a restaurant across the street from the supermarket and had this wondeful soup with noodles and... meat. I didn't realize that it had cilantro until I was halfway through. I HATE cilantro, but the soup did a good job of having me not notice it. It wasn't until I noticed it that it became very noticeable. Shingo was trying to show me how to eat with chopsticks. I was such a failure, so Sunny kept suggesting a fork. I refused to give up, though. I ate almost all of it, but I think my appetite has lowered. I haven't been eating enough lately, to the point where I get hunger pains during class. They hurt a helluva lot. I know it's not my little friend because when they began, it was too early in the month. Plus they feel very differently and aren't accompanied by the dinosaur in my stomach. Anyway... XD

So after we ate we went into the heart of Chinatown (in Sunny's car this time) and wandered around into bakeries and a bookstore. Diego ate a piece of a pastry off the ground. CHINATOWN, PHILLY GROUND. That was fucking disgusting. But he'll live. Chinese ground is probably cleaner than elsewhere in the city. So after all that, we left for Andrea's house. We played some Timesplitters, got MORE Wingers, played some Halo, and then went outside to play baseball in the drizzle. That is, if you call hitting a whiffle ball with a stick and running around a field the length of a body lying on the grass baseball. It was fun, and I didn't suck. I tried to pull Diego into the house, but I broke a nail and was distracted as he slid down the stairs. CRY AGONY! Andrea at some point tried to close all the people outside from out of the house and I was pushing against the door trying to get back in. She abruptly let the door go and I fell backwards into the house, in what felt like slow motion. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt except for my elbow. I knocked her down too, like a domino effect. In short, we busted our asses. We all eventually went inside again and played Scrabble and other random things. I never tell these stories in order, by the way. I don't ever remember things either. It works out in the end, though.

I love my friends so much. I really am going to miss them all. A good number of them will be in the area, as will I, come college, but Andrea... she is the glue to this group it seems. A lot of this weekend she and I were pretending that either Diego or Shingo was our best friend and not each other. I sat down and thought about how'd it be if that were real. I'd never know what it meant to have a best friend if that had happened. I really am going to miss her quite a bit. ;_;

Today was kind of fun too. We (ABC) went to Bob's studio. It wasn't as fun as it was in the past, and I can't sing, regardless of if people try to convince me of otherwise. I was going to try, but I just was out of it. This weekend I ate A LOT. Today I had half of a HUGE hero (err...hoagie), and then later we went to Red Lobster. Mmm... seafood.

It's over. But this weekend was just awesome. I'm so happy... I could cry.

Fit Fest Fun!

My legs are KILLING me. If I take a step, my calves start to throb. I think I actually shedded like five pounds today (ok, maybe two, or not) not that that matters. I don't really worry about my weight. Sure, I wouldn't mind being a bit more fit, but it's getting there that's hard. If I could just be more tone (not manly like - heck no) I'd be good. But it's not the first thing on my agenda, so... I apparently get thinner everytime I go home. But Moms, you know...

We (Kota y su novio, Alex) were playing DDR for about 8 hours straight, except we had to go around helping people, mostly (annoying) children. OMG CHILDREN. WTF?! I hate it when parents leave their children to freaking twirl around in circles like friggin' idiots, falling all over people and pissing them off. They can't even pay attention to the freaking game for a SECOND! I'm standing RIGHT in their ear, saying "PLEASE STAND BEHIND THE POLE!" And they all run in front of it like RETARDS. Excuse me for using that word. It is not a normal fixture in my vocabulary, I promise you. But yeh. So working with kids all day is not fun. Blessed be the teachers. According to Dave (my art teacher at the Community Art Center)I handle children very well. He was impressed. Yea, ok, thanks. But I can't tell you how many times I wanted to bop somebody. And OMG. People need to have better hygeine. We had those cheap, plastic, pads, that SUCK. Kota brought her Red Octane pads - those are freaking AMAZING. And she and her bf both play Heavy. They're pretty good, although I've seen better. *Rolls Eyes* I can see it coming now... But anyway, people were sweating and barefooted and they freaking STUNK. And then this one dude came up to talk to me and his breath smelled like PISS. I was pretending to scratch my back to cover my nose, and I was telling him how to play the game, and he, like, leaned forward and was like, "I can't hear you." I almost fell over and died. Thank goodness he didn't come back today like he said he would. (This event took place on Saturday and today, although today was more exciting because I actually got to play. RED OCTANE OMG!) Tsugaru is like beating in my head. And the people that set the place up had to be high or something. We were set up next to this thing called "Dance Place" and they had these blaring speakers on with music. You CANNOT play a musical game with other music on, especially if it means you can't hear what you're supposed to. So that was just dumb. And then today, this Asian guy... I have like this obsession with Asians (obviously moreso the guys than girls) and he was REALLY good. (Still not the BEST of the BEST. You know who you are.) He talked to my friends and I and told us like his WHOLE life story. Omigosh DRIFTING AWAY is in my head now. He was really nice, up from New Jersey. You know NJ folks don't have their own city. They live between NYC and Philly. It's kind of sad. But anyway, he first said to me, "Hey, I wanna play you." Kota, Dave and Alex, told me I was blushing like mad. I was just like, "Oh please." You could stare at me and I'll blush sometimes. (Especially if you have really pretty eyes... Omigosh. I first found out I was in love with hazel eyes in the 7th or maybe 8th grade. The one kid that had them though was not cool. He used to say something like "Riiight..." to everything, trying to be a smart ass.) But anyway, he played the game with us and then gave us his screen name and actually HUGGED us. It was awkward for me because I didn't expect it. I never expect it, but I guess some people are more cordial than others. NUMBER ONE - strangers don't hug. Maybe elsewhere, but not in America. He was Americanized though, so... It was sweet, but kinda freaked me out. Yea... I think my development has been delayed. This boy crazy stage was supposed to happen a long time ago, like 7th grade. But it was 6th grade that I finally began to realize that I had no real reason to loathe males at all. Now GIRLS on the other hand... No, but seriously, I used to HATE boys. I actually was pretty indifferent about girls. I was SO antisocial. I had, like, no friends. That's a lie. I miss 7th grade when I used to draw comics/stories for all my friends and pass them around. Somebody stole the very last episode of my series! I let someone borrow it to read just before graduation, and because I was as absent minded as I am now, I'd half sworn they'd given it back to me. I got over it, though. I should seriously go back to Queens, see if I can find any of my old friends. I have like, no friends in NY as of now. It may partially be my fault, but eh. I don't ever go out in NY. It's sad. *sigh* And that is me, writing through my train of thought. Ghost is in my head now.

So yes... I'm really happy with myself these days. I'm beginning to notice a lot of things changing me. I used to have such a thick shell, but it may well be transparent now. Ooh, ooh... quick rant... WTF is the deal with me attracting overly sensitive people (especially guys) as friends?! ARG! I hate it when people get mad at me for things I can't help. I am an ANDROID. I cannot LOVE. Not wholeheartedly, anyway. As I have said time again, Andrea, on an IRL scale, she has been the closest thing, which isn't saying much at all, because she's my best friend. That which is intangible is really not the same. People are so different face to face. WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?! This happens time and time again. I can get over it... I always do. And you? (This is about someone else.) Just give up... I'm not worth it. And the way I see it, nobody is.

"Failure's not flattering." NFG.

Sunday Bloody Sunday

WARNING: Leo

Sundays can be pretty dull sometimes, particularly on a gloomy, chilly kind of afternoon. Yesterday it was raining like hell. It was disgusting. I couldn't really go anywhere, not that there was much of any place to go. Goddamnit it started raining again. It's just a light drizzle, so it's not too bad yet.

That's one thing I've always hated about Spring. It's constantly wet. I think I ought to just keep my hair in braids during this season, because my hair puffing up is inevitable. The slightest bit of moisture in the air will ruin it, although it wasn't that straight to begin with. Sometimes it's a hit or miss. A lot of people seem to hate daylight savings time. I don't mind it too much. It's only an hour, really. But falling back is definitely a bit more convenient.

I've come to realize that although I am usually a very forgiving person, once I set you in my mind a certain way, it's hard for me to get you out of that mindset. I suppose that's how it is for everyone. But if you have done something that has scarred me in some way, and I am much more fragile than I like to admit, I tend to just want to forget about you. And I will look for every circumstance which vindicates my wanting to dismiss you from my life.

So offically, I am dateless in terms of the prom. Officially meaning I'm not sure what I should do yet. Thinking about the prom has brought back a lot of nostalgia which was formed based on last year. And here is a topic you (I am addressing one particular person when I say this) that you may resent me for. Your resentment, however, has created a chain of such, passing it onto me. For you to be angry about something you know nothing about - that really pissed me off. Yes. I'm talking about Leo. Leo was an exchange student from Osaka, Japan. I remember the very day we met him. He was sitting all alone in the cafeteria and Andii decided to ask him to join our table. From that day on, he was a fixture in our little circle of friends. To be perfectly honest, I had a crush on the boy, but hell, I've had a crush on a lot of people, often many at once. I'm not a player I just crush a lot. XD But I've never been one to act on my crushes. I am just very flirtatious in general. I have never done anything beyond words and that is just fine with me. It's so odd, but I've come to realize this - I enjoy flirting over a relationship. I am just too... sociable to attach myself to one person, I guess. But I've already explained myself on that matter, so anyway... Leo gathered a number of my male friends for his breakdancing. He was amazing at it. Only Shingo was really as good as he was, which is why he is the current, rightful heir. I think the breakdancing will die out after this year, though. It was built on a lot of current seniors, and the Asian pop'l seems to be dwindling in our school building. So yea. Every once in a while I'd visit the breakdancing group on the fourth floor, just to visit and to support my friends. Leo was just the nicest kid ever. And so it came up in a conversation one day that I was dateless. Andrea asked if I had anyone in mind and I shyly said, maybe. As my best friend, it was only natural that she knew who it was, although she had never really suspected before that point that I liked him. So she asked him for me, because I, for whatever reason could not bring myself to ask him. And he said yes. So he was my prom date. And I had a lot more fun than I'd thought I would. I absolutely adore my friends. And yes... now that prom approaches, I miss him...

So here I am again with prom in my midst. What ever shall I do? I'm not so sure I can take you. So much has been instilled within my mind about you that I can't shake. But if I do decline, what options do I have? I have yet to figure that out myself. But it'll come in time. I have two months to make up my mind. I shall address this matter further in email. Check it.

In other news, I can't wait for next weekend! I am booked, booked, booked! Friday is the talent show! More nostalgia for me! Shingo and crew will be performing their breakdancing gig. I have not watched them practice because of the emptiness that seems to linger without my good ol' buddy, but I'm sure it'll be great. My good buddy Cory will also be performing. It knocked my pants off when I found out that he could sing during the Seussical. Hmm... did I ever write about that? Originally for Friday, I was supposed to go to this really fancy restaurant, Buddhakan (or however the hell you spell it), with Kelly and her bf. But friends come first. Buddhakan was originally scheduled for Saturday, but then I had a convention to go to. Omigosh that is going to be so much fun. Basically, it's a fitness convention at the PA Convention Center. Dave, Kota, her boyfriend, and I will be demonstrating Dance Dance Revolution as a potential fitness tool from 2-6 and then damn near all day on Sunday. I may just pass out, either from overexertion or embarrassment, but I will have fun. And what about Buddhakan? Well, I was lucky enough to go there once, so if Kelly wishes to deny me of a second opportunity, then I'll live. And that's all.

I still haven't written about NYLC... some other time...